Effecting Change

I went out last night to an event sponsored by the New Orleans Film Society. It was this big networking bash, billed as something very posh but turning out to be pretty lame. Believing that it was going to be pretty major, though, I spent the day shopping and getting ready. Thank goodness that I decided last minute to do my own nails, hair and makeup, or I would have been very disappointed at spending so much money for nothing. This all sounds so negative, but in reality, the event turned out to be pretty positive in my book. Why, you ask? Because I put together an outfit that was both ‘me’ and ‘stunning.’

No photos yet (whoops, sorry for the oversight), but I wore a very affordable, simple hi-lo dress made out of soft cotton – basically a t-shirt shaped like a form-fitting dress. It showed off my quads, which are looking very toned lately, and hid the backs of my thighs, which are just so-so (so far). It had very short sleeves, hiding those annoying little flabby spots under my armpits while also making my shoulders look more toned. While shopping yesterday afternoon I found a skinny belt with gold spike studs and a pair of silver square hoop earrings with gold spikes. I paired these with some gold bangle bracelets I already owned, and my favorite pair of comfy black wedge heels. The best part of my outfit was a purse that I scored yesterday at Buffalo Exchange – a two-toned crocodile leather Brahmin bag for only $30!  It’s my first really nice purse EVER.

To pull the look together, I figured out a way to style my hair and get both sides to flip in instead of one in, one out. I got my hair cut pretty short a couple of weeks ago, and this was the first event that I was able to get it styled correctly, by myself. I wore contacts, too, which definitely make me look prettier, I think. And for doing my own makeup, I did a pretty good job. The eyeliner could stand improvement, as always, but I don’t think that’s something other people were noticing about me.

What did I learn from an event I only attended for about an hour and a half? For one, that I should stick with ‘simple’ when I want to. I pull it off better than many, and being comfortable in your skin is such a huge step in the right direction when you’re at a social function. Also, I should really wear makeup more often. I look great when I’m done up. Maybe not every single day, but certainly more than once a month. I’ve got to do something about my eyes, too. Glasses are such a mask for me, and I’m tired of them. It would be so nice to have good eyes, at least for a little while. Maybe I should be saving up for Lasik.

Finally, I learned that I’m just as good as all of the people I imagine to be somehow ‘better’ than me. I was hanging out at a party with B-listers and wannabes, and they were all just like me. Just as uncomfortable as me. Just as hungry, thirsty, bored, irritated, whatever. Many were not as attractive, and many were more attractive. Some were wearing very uncomfortable outfits, and too much makeup, or silly hairstyles. Some were pulled together in a way that I might never manage (but very few – I was, after all, looking pretty damn sharp). But they were all people. The biggest lesson learned is that if I want to change, I’ve got to stop being scared of the stuff in my own imagination. And I do want to change.

So where am I going with this? I’m edging into bravery. I’m spending my Sunday morning putting together a plan to move forward this week, and then this month, and then this year. I’m putting timelines on goals. I’m figuring out how much money I’m going to need to get where I want to go. I’m terrified. But we already know that the biggest scary monster in life is my own cowardice. So let’s get moving.

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