The Chocolate Cake

The Man has taken to baking cakes. And muffins. But lately, it’s cakes. I’m naturally dismayed at this. I love to bake, but also avoid baking sweets, since I know I’ll just eat them all. I don’t buy candy or chips, and I don’t bake yummy things. I try to keep my cupboard and fridge as healthy as possible, since I know that I am a binge eater. I’ve asked him over and over to not buy any meat with me in mind, to not buy me treats or snacks, and to please not bake so much. He’s taken to ignoring my requests.

But it’s his house too, so I try not to be a bitch about it. He happens to love muffins (I don’t) so once a week he’ll bake a big batch and put them in the fridge so he can have a quick breakfast. So what if it’s horribly unhealthy? I’ve given up on trying to dictate what he eats, since my own weird diet is so distasteful to him. We eat separate meals, and I try to ignore his proclivities for snacking on candy and eating baked crap every day.

However, last week he did something that I’m just not going to be able to get over. He baked a chocolate pudding cake, with chocolate icing. Then he put it in the fridge and hasn’t eaten a piece since. His reasoning? He doesn’t like chocolate cake.

What?

Yes. He hates chocolate. He’s hated chocolate for years, so it wasn’t like he got confused and forgot he didn’t like it when he was buying the cake mix and icing at the store. When he was making the cake, I pointed this out. He laughed and said that he was making it for me.

Mind you, I’ve practically begged him to stop bringing crap into my house, and he should know very well that I’m a binge eater and have zero control when snacks are within my reach. I also love chocolate, especially chocolate icing. Luckily, I dislike cake in general, and particularly refrigerated cake (who refrigerates cake? so gross!). So every day I look into the fridge for a healthy snack, and see a big ass chocolate cake just taunting me from the second shelf.

A small part of me thinks that this must just be funny, and tries to think that The Man really just made a cake because he loves me and wants me to enjoy something. Maybe I’m just missing the joke.

The rest of me feels betrayed and manipulated. I can’t figure out why after I’ve made myself more than clear that he’d do something like this. You might be thinking “relax, it’s only a cake!” and he’s probably thinking the same thing. However, he knows that I have a very hard time with self-restraint, and that the best method I’ve found is to keep away from “bad” foods. Two weeks ago he came home with several cans of chunky clam chowder, and I ate all three of them within an hour, straight from the can. I love clam chowder, and he wasn’t around to watch me. If he wasn’t coming home for a week or so, I’d sit down to a dinner of chocolate cake and eat the whole damn thing, just because, even though I don’t want anything but the icing.

Yesterday he went grocery shopping and came home with a box of brownie mix.

If I were an alcoholic, he would never bring home a handle of vodka to leave on the counter. I know he’s not trying to sabotage me, but I also know that he just doesn’t give a shit that I need more stability in my life when it comes to food. I just don’t understand what his motivation might be to make something that he actively dislikes and just leave it around to fuck with my mind. It’s driving me nuts, especially when he checks the cake in the morning to see if I’ve eaten a big piece when he isn’t looking. Because despite him saying that he made it for me, if I do eat any, he’ll reward me with some remark about how “you just can’t help yourself, can you?” Is this emotional abuse? Am I doing it to myself? WTF is going on here?

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