The Wagon

I’ll admit it – I haven’t weighed myself since Saturday.  I’m too scared to, mostly because I also haven’t worked out or watched my diet since Friday.  We all knew it had to happen at some point, and oh my God, has it happened.

On Saturday I wanted to go to yoga in the morning, but also knew I had to drive almost 2 hours to get a carload of friends to the Wisconsin State Fair.  I figured that was a good enough excuse to not work out (I still think it’s a perfectly good excuse to take a day off, in fact).  Then I ate some funky stuff at the fair, like deep fried bacon with country gravy, and part of a turkey leg, then later some Taco Bell tacos.  Disgusting.  Well, the bacon was epic, but the rest – meh.  So Sunday I knew I needed to do two classes to make up for missing Saturday.  But as the day dragged on, I made up more excuses.  First there was homework, then laundry, and then didn’t I really need to watch at least one episode of Medium?  Before I knew it, I had missed all of the day’s classes.  But since I was watching TV and eating Chinese food at the time, that didn’t really bother me.

So then Monday comes around.  Monday, the day I set aside to give my boss my two weeks’ notice.  The day was long, stressful, and ultimately successful.  I gave the boss my notice, but then she asked me to stay on full time and work from home (I’m moving 900 miles away and was going to be unemployed, so this sounds like a fabulous idea to me).  It’s probably not surprising that between the buildup of worry and stress from before I quit, to the excitement and relief I felt after I got to remain employed, I decided to celebrate with a bottle of wine and some takeout.  No yoga, plus I ate a giant, really gross sandwich (no, really, it didn’t even taste good), french fries, a mozzarella stick, and a brownie.  Argh.

But Tuesday, surely Tuesday will be the day I jump back on the wagon and head off triumphantly to yoga class.  Right?  Right?  Oh good grief…

Nope.  I needed to get some grocery shopping done, so instead of going to yoga I went to Trader Joe’s, where I couldn’t resist buying a baguette, a huge, gooey wedge of triple cream brie, and some lovely smoked coho salmon (among other healthy staples).  This smorgasbord I enjoyed with more wine, whilst watching an interesting British comedy called Hotel Splendide, starring Toni Collette and Daniel Craig.  I also ate a few healthy spoonfuls of organic raw honey.  It goes really well with a floral red, as I found.  *Sigh*

And here we are, smack-dab in the middle of Wednesday, too afraid to get on the scale, and feeling generally slow and run-down from four solid days of poor food decisions and a virtual shutdown of all of the systems I had up and chugging along last Friday.  My digestion is suffering mightily, I’m so tired it almost hurts, and I’m having more trouble than ever concentrating.  Class is at 5:45 this evening, and I will be there, even if it means spending 90 minutes glued to my mat, fighting to breathe.  I can’t afford NOT to be there.

I’m not going to waste the time being disappointed in myself anymore.  It’s time to pick up the pieces and get back to work.

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