I had something really strange happen today. I found myself, for just a few seconds, actually appreciating my body. For the first time in I don’t know how long, I loved my physical self. And it was a strong burst of love, strong enough to throw me off guard. It was like living in a place where it’s been raining heavily every day for as long as anyone can remember, and then one day the sun punches through a tiny spot in the clouds for just a second or two, and shines so incredibly hard that the person who was standing right where the sun happened to touch is now sporting a George Hamilton-level tan.
It happened like this: I was walking to work this morning. Since it’s already getting hot here, I wear my workout clothes to walk to work, then change into other clothes once I get to the office, so I won’t be sweaty all day. My workout clothes are pretty basic – spandex capris always, then whatever t-shirt suits me that day. Sometimes I wear sneakers, but I can’t stand for my feet to get hot, so lately I’ve been walking to work in my hiking sandals, Tevas.
So I was walking along, feeling kind of like a stuffed sausage in my form-fitting clothes, but overall just enjoying the sensation of walking. I really love the new sandals, and they make my walk feel more like an adventure. I was within five minutes of getting to the office, just starting to cross over a busy street, and all of a sudden – whoosh! I found that I loved how strong and capable my feet and legs felt, and how easy it was to carry my (kind of heavy, actually) work backpack. And then I thought “I bet my butt’s looking really great right now with all those squats I’ve been doing at the gym” and from there I started to smile, and felt like someone really should notice me, walking across the street, looking great. Wouldn’t that be a treat for them to see a strong, happy woman going about her day? And then I realized that I’d just experienced a moment of truly liking being in my skin, and it all disappeared again.
But it was there. I felt it. I know what it’s like. So that’s a start, right?