Time and again, I’ve set my sights on weight loss and/or fitness goals, stuck with it valiantly for awhile, then given up. This continued failure is something I’ve been ruminating on for years, and as I get older, it seems more obvious to me that my biggest stumbling blocks are all internal. I’m naturally an optimistic person –generally I try to look on the bright side of things. I also have complete faith in a person’s power to change and advance, and that if you keep trying long and hard enough, you’ll make it where you want to go.

Both of these are very positive aspects, things that make me happy to be me. Unfortunately, this is balanced out with a highly prideful, competitive side that abhors the thought of being second best. Couple this with an unhealthy dose of emotional eating, and what you get is someone who is continually starting, stopping, considering this stopping point to be complete failure, then eating to soothe the ‘hurt’ of not being #1. It’s stupid. It’s common. It’s got to stop.

Last week, I started putting together framework for a weight loss plan rewards program, so that I could start to concentrate on moving forward, rather than focusing on my missteps. Rewards are proven to help dieters reach their goals, and I imagine that what’s going to happen in my case is that instead of falling off the wagon for a day, then giving up completely because I’ve eaten a chili cheeseburger, I’ll pick myself up, dust myself off, and try again the next day. The key is finding the right rewards, and giving them at the right intervals.

I love clothes and shoes. Love them. I dream of going on What Not to Wear, except that I don’t wear enough embarrassing clothing – just threadbare stuff since I can’t ever afford a real shopping trip to revamp my look. I adore those stickers in Lucky Magazine, but my biggest complaint is that they never give you enough to mark everything you really want in that issue. My favorite site of all time (in all categories) is Modcloth, followed closely by Fab, then Piperlime and Threadless.

You can probably see a pattern here. It just makes sense to reward myself with beautiful wearables. I’m thinking of starting with items that won’t need to be adjusted for weight loss (shoes & accessories) and working my way from there to maybe a pair of jeans or a dress that I wouldn’t dare wear now.

My dream scenario not only involves me losing weight and getting pretty clothes, though. I want you guys to be involved in this process, to be able to help me pick my rewards as I go along. In a perfect world, I’d also be able to give you something in return for being there for me. I’m not even sure I’ll be able to afford my own rewards, though, so coming up with cash or prizes for you is going to be too tough on my budget. Today I contacted someone special, with hopes that they’ll help me with that. I’m trying to be optimistic about it; I want this to be lots of fun for both of us.

Cross your fingers – I’ll let you know what happens!