I woke up this morning with a certainty lodged in the pit of my stomach – I did not get the job. Not that there are any definite signs (emails, phone calls, frowning at the interview, etc), but right as my eyes fluttered open it seemed to me that I was back in the interview, and I could hear the questions with a clarity they didn’t possess yesterday. I heard myself answering, and saw the same reactions, but now I could see into the reactions more. It’s like when you’re watching a really subtle drama; the first time you see the scene, you hear the lines, see the major physical movements, get the gist. Then later you’re watching the movie again, and this time as the scene rolls you hear the inflections, see some of the smaller physical movements, catch a facial tick that you might not have before. Suddenly you’re seeing so much more of the story, understanding the underlying emotions of the characters, whether or not they relate to the major storyline. That’s what happened this morning. I saw slight frowns, heard my rambling answers, woke up knowing that I have to keep looking for another job. I blew it.
But still, I’ll wait and see what happens. Who knows?