Memories, Not Dreams


There’s no answer to today’s Daily Post prompt. How could I possibly pick just three memories from 32 years, to be defined henceforth as the most memorable? My memories are like selections from a favorite jukebox: all are worthy of space, some are overplayed, a few are delightful one-hit wonders that bring a smile to my heart the moment they start up, and a handful fill me with dread, or at the least, sorrow. Each is most special at the moment it reaches the surface and starts to play, but no less special afterwards, when it slides back down to wait again for another turn who-knows-when. So no, my blog posts are not Buzzfeed. I won’t be making a Top 3 Memories list, at least not right now.

But I can take a second to tell you something I’ve been ruminating on today. This morning I had a few different thoughts that all worked their way into one big question. It’s already become apparent to me that I’ve been retreating further and further into my own imagination over the last few years, making up stories to keep my heart safe. I’ve always been a dreamer. It’s just what I do. There’s nothing wrong with that. And dreams (for me, at least) start with memories, so I snag what I can and store it away for later, then build on it. I often retreat into two vacations I took in 2004 and 2005; if dreams could count in recorded history, I’ve spent at least a year or two walking the streets of Vienna and Paris, eating late-night kebabs, crying over Egon Schiele paintings.

But now I suddenly find myself dreaming about things from my present. Happening things. Concrete things. Things that I can have, and that I don’t have to dream about – though that’s been fun, for pleasure’s sake. I’m telling myself that I know what to do with this information, but obviously I don’t, or I wouldn’t be sharing it here, waiting for insight.

Here’s what I do know, and what I will do: indulge myself. Become immersed. Invite participation. Share more than I’m typically comfortable sharing. Look at myself through someone else’s eyes, and love what I see. Teach him how to do the same. Listen to him breathe, and enjoy the way it makes me feel. Notice my trembling soul. Balance on it. Pirouette. Do it again, and again, and again, until I’m dizzy with the fact that my dreams aren’t half as good as my sudden, unexpected reality.

Fall asleep smiling. Wake up singing. Love. Me. You.

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Oh Spinghar – I miss you dearly | Perspectives on life, universe and everything
  2. Last wish | Perspectives on life, universe and everything
  3. Daily Prompt: Moments to Remember | The WordPress C(h)ronicle
  4. reflections | yi-ching lin photography
  5. Dubai Art Season – SIKKA14 | Rima Hassan
  6. The day Agatha became my friend | Hope* the happy hugger
  7. Daily Prompt: Moments to Remember- Psychological Analysis of Memories | Journeyman
  8. The Daily Prompt and a Short Story Named “Lobe” | The Jittery Goat
  9. The One That Could Have Been [Ndifreke’s Story] | She Writes
  10. Daily Prompt: Moments to Remember | Endurance Training Institute
  11. Those Moments I Will Never Forget | Musings | WANGSGARD
  12. Impressions of poverty | AS I PLEASE
  13. The Memories of Stumping my doctor this past year: If everything goes into slow motion, my pain may just evaporate « psychologistmimi
  14. Memorable moments… | Kate Murray
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  16. The most memorable moment in my childhood | wisskko’s blog
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  18. Memories… | I’m a Writer, Yes I Am
  19. An evening of lovely moments: Daily Prompt | ALIEN AURA’S BLOG: IT’LL BLOW YOUR MIND!
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  39. Memories of becoming a behavioral scientist advocate during these past ten years | Institute for Hispanic Health Equity
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  54. Life is Memorable Moments | Live Life in Crescendo
  55. Lives to Remember. | 1+1-1=0
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  57. Folios of “I’m sorry’s” | thejimmieG
  58. Three moments I’ll never forget! | The Insight of a young soul
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  60. Memorable. | Simple Heart Girl
  61. What I remember | Passionate Dreaming
  62. The Past is Past and Yet It Lasts | meanderedwanderings
  63. Daily prompt: Moments to remember | Love your dog
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  70. Daily Prompt: Remember That Time When… | Cabernet In The Dark
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  81. In which I have no original ideas |
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  85. Reflections | U Be Cute – Follow the child inside of you…
  86. Daily Prompt: Moments to Remember…. | Kawanee’s Korner
  87. Do You Remember These? | Hokie Thoughts

8 Comments Add yours

  1. I couldn’t pick three either. Or even ten.
    I really enjoyed reading this.
    I can’t find the Like button (women, such complicated creatures) but I liked this.

    1. compassandquill says:

      Lol! Yeah, I’ve read a few more people’s posts since writing this, and am still amazed that it seems like folks have a more or less clear idea of the big three moments of their lives. Maybe one day things just crystallize? I doubt that will ever happen in my case, haha. 🙂

    2. compassandquill says:

      By the way, thanks for letting me know about the “Like” button. For some reason, when I updated Jetpack all of my settings changed. It’s back now!

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