I’ve been thinking about this for awhile, and this is my list of criteria for the perfect mate. As long as half of these are checked off, that sounds like a decent compromise. Some of the criteria obviously carry more weight than the others, though. I don’t think I’ve ever been physically attracted to a non-smoker. Them’s the breaks.

  • Physically Active / Exercises or plays sports often
  • Has friends & an active social life
  • Well-spoken & interested in having conversations
  • Loves his family
  • Open to / interested in spirituality
  • Wants to help the world, or at least understands that impulse in me
  • Optimistic
  • Musical
  • Dancer
  • Well-read
  • Creates things
  • Avid traveler
  • Aware of the world
  • Not a crazy bleeding heart, but definitely not too conservative
  • Open minded
  • Good listener
  • Can express himself
  • Great kisser
  • Loves Halloween & costumes
  • Plays games; isn’t afraid to nurture his inner child and laugh now and then
  • Can cook
  • Doesn’t say no to adventures
  • Creates adventures
  • Plans dates
  • Drinks wine
  • Watches what I want to watch without bitching or sulking (talking about documentaries, not chick flicks)
  • Seductive / In control
  • Makes me feel feminine
  • Makes me feel safe
  • Enjoys nature, no matter what time of year
  • Likes some of the same music I do (not all, but at least 1/3 so we can go to concerts together)
  • Doesn’t take stupid risks (smoking, drunk driving, criminal activity)
  • SUPPORTIVE. I don’t care if it IS the fifth time I’ve tried to go vegan, it’s your job to have my back and believe that this time is the time.
  • Be the other half of my team.

5 responses to “The Perfect Mate”

  1. Ms. Roberts Avatar

    Wow, that’s a lot! I am just good with a guy/girl who has the same interests as me!

    1. Anna Avatar

      These are all my interests 🙂 Most of these are things I find attractive in any potential friend, and many are qualities I see in myself (or wish to cultivate – I can’t cook worth shit, lol!)

      1. Ms. Roberts Avatar

        I can’t cook either. All my previous boyfriends loved to cook. Isn’t that strange?

      2. Anna Avatar

        Same here. I look at it as a kind of divine intervention, though. Poor guys have to eat, and they’d starve with me!

      3. Ms. Roberts Avatar

        Wow, the divine intervened for me like three times because I had three boyfriends who all liked to cook!

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I’m Nova

I have no “personal brand.” I’m not a girl boss, I’m not an influencer, and I don’t aspire to be powerful, inspiring, or rich. I probably can’t teach you anything, and there’s a good chance that there’s nothing at all of interest or use to you here. This is just where I come to talk about the random bits and pieces that make up my quiet life as a sober woman in her 40s. I’m engaged to the love of my life, have six (yes, SIX) indoor pets, and spend a lot of time gardening and hunting for thrift treasures. I also study classical voice (I’m a lyric coloratura soprano) and am deeply interested in all things spiritual and paranormal. Right now I’m trying to recover from career burnout and even out my personal energy, but my eventual goal is to become a medium and shamanic healer, using music to remind humans of the things that actually matter: connection, community, and loving all living things as though they were our own children. I may or may not talk about all of these things here (and sometimes all at once). Welcome!