Today has been really weird so far.

To begin with, I had strange, kind of drugged-up feeling dreams last night. The type where you’re half in and half out of the dreams, and you feel awake and asleep at the same time. Have you ever had those? Makes for no real rest.

Then this morning when I was scrambling to get out of the house, I dropped my purse onto the kitchen counter and accidentally hit the on switch on the blender. We never leave the blender plugged in, so typically this wouldn’t be an issue. But today it was plugged in, and the little plastic measuring cap was IN the blender instead of attached to the lid. So the blender turns on, and sharp plastic shards start to shoot out of the top of the blender. The cats took off at high speed, with me on their heels. I hid in the next room until it sounded a little less lethal, ticking off options on my list to turn the killer blender off. Broom handle? Too short. Throw something at it? Maybe the blender would skid off of the counter and chop something else up by accident. Finally I just covered my eyes, ran in and hit the off switch. There wasn’t anything left of that little plastic cap bigger than a pencil eraser. At least I know I’ve got a powerful blender!

After cleaning up the mess, I was definitely late for my first phone call of the morning, so I grabbed an apple and my work bag, and ran out the door. Just a block from home is that underpass I’ve talked about before. I walk there every day, and seldom meet anyone scary. Of course today would be the day. A guy flagged me down with a smile, then asked if he could borrow my phone to make a call. He explained to me that he was homeless, and needed to call an organization on Canal Street. Then he held out his own phone and asked me to read how many minutes he had left on the screen (it was 3 minutes). He said that he needed to call the organization on Canal Street to find out if they were open, instead of walking all the way there. He was giving me the creeps. Obviously I wasn’t handing him my phone. He had minutes, and he was also trying to get closer to me. He also had two tear drop tattoos on his face.

So I spent the morning dealing with a killer blender and a killer human. Then when I got to work I had a conference call, a spate of sneezing (30 in a row!) and a call with my newly appointed lawyer. Oh yeah, I didn’t mention it over the weekend because I was trying to not let it ruin my days off, but the State of Louisiana is trying to get me to pay back taxes for a period of time that I wasn’t even living in the state. I’m feeling like such a grown up, me with my own lawyer – fancy!

Happy Monday, everyone. Ugh.