Aunt Almost

I’m an only child. Just one daughter for my parents – one chance at creating someone to carry on their legacy. It was a choice that was made mostly for financial reasons, and also because my dad, ever the big talker, said something stupid. He combined the words ‘girl’ and ‘mistake,’ and my mom immediately decided she’d never have another child.

Fine for me – I liked being alone. Scorpios are loyal folk who love their friends and family to a fault, but like our namesake scorpion, we’re our best in solitude. I operate at my highest capacity when I’m able to be around a few folks I love every few days, while spending the bulk of my time in my own head, working out puzzles and thinking up magic.

There’s only one major problem with being an only child – I’ll never be an aunt. It’s a weird problem to have, or maybe it’s just a weird problem of which to conceive. But it is troubling. I’ve never really wanted to be a mom. I might eventually become one, and I’m sure once that happens, things will change and my heart/mind will expand considerably. However, for the last few years, I’ve been thinking about how cool it would be to be an aunt. I love my friends’ kids, and The Man has a little niece who is just the cutest thing ever. But no matter how much I get to know them, buy them presents, spend time hanging out and enjoying their little-person-ness, I’ll never be much more to them than the lady they see fleetingly throughout their childhoods. I’ll never be a real aunt.

Today my best friend Trinity is having a baby. Her water broke at 5am CST, and she’s in labor now. This baby already hit the jackpot in so many ways – two amazing parents who will shower him or her with love and magic, a huge extended family with lots of aunts and uncles and cousins, and probably more brothers and sisters down the line, too. I’m leaving town tomorrow to drive to Austin and welcome in the new year with Trin and her new addition. I will be Auntie Anna. This kid is the closest thing I’ll ever have to a real niece or nephew, because Trin is the closest thing I’ll ever have to a real sister.

I’m going to have to be happy with being the Almost Aunt. I’m excited to hold this baby, to shower it with just a little more love, to imagine that one day I’ll be able to do just one thing that bonds us that extra bit, and gets rid of the Almost. We’ll see.

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