Day #26: 6 Years Later…


Today is the six-year anniversary of my first date with The Man. We had already known each other for nine months, and were both classmates and teammates who worked closely every day in our historic preservation graduate program at Tulane University. We were friends, and had been attracted to each other since the first day we met – but I had a boyfriend, and wasn’t the cheating kind. As it turned out, that boyfriend turned out to be obsessive and turn into a complete creep who accused me of sleeping with The Man because I was at architecture studio all night working on projects, then threatened to kill me when I tried to break up with his crazy self. Eventually, I managed to get free of that bad situation (made easier since it was a long distance relationship, anyway), but things were very weird between The Man and me by then, since the crazy ex had also called and threatened him. Neither The Man nor I had considered dating, even though there was the attraction; it just seemed weird since we were such good friends and saw each other every day in school. But then my best friend moved back to town and dragged me out drinking on Labor Day, and I impulsively called The Man to see if he’d want to have a drink with us at Snake & Jake’s. A couple of hours later, we were happily holding hands and watching as Bestie lit fireworks out in the street in front of our house.

Now it’s six years later. Crazy. We’ve changed in weird ways, but stayed the same in the right ones. Sometimes our relationship is a huge pain in my ass, and I wonder if I’d be happier being single. Other days I realize that he loves me more than I love myself, and that’s worth fighting for. It’s a little weird having been together this long and not being married. We talk about kids, but neither of us want them just yet. We talk about getting married, but neither of us could afford the party we’d want to have. I have trouble talking about my relationship ups and downs with friends, because The Man and I have been together for longer than most couples I know, but everyone I know is married already. Some of my friends see that as some kind of warning sign. Other friends haven’t even experienced what it’s like to transition from being wildly in lust to just steadily in  like with the person you’re living on top of every day. Then again, as an only child AND a Scorpio (and he’s a Scorp, too, just to make it interesting) it’s VERY difficult to share my space 24/7. It’s one of my least favorite things about being in a relationship, and it’s pretty much our only problem as a couple. It makes it hard to talk to people I know who seem surgically attached to their lovers and wouldn’t have it any other way. That kind of shit makes me crazy. The Man and I finish each other’s sentences, he hums songs that I’m thinking about, I can pick a thought out of his brain on command. These are all good things. But we would both love to have a house where we could spend our time not seeing each other every now and then.

So. It’s 8:48am and I’ve just written a very random post about my relationship. Now it’s time to dry my hair, put on some deodorant, and go to work. I’ve already gone to Bikram today (Day #4 of the challenge – woot!) and I’ve got one more gulp of protein shake to get down. I weighed in at 157.8 lbs today, with which I’m fine. I’ll have to be careful to stay on target today and not let stress eating get the better of me. Other than that, I’m good. It’s time to go. The sooner I go to work, the sooner I’ll get to go out with my boyfriend of 6 years tonight for an anniversary date 🙂

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