A few months back, I wrote about my love for Zaggora pants. I’ve never owned a pair, and don’t know if I’ll ever have the money to afford them, but damn if the idea of losing weight just wearing pants doesn’t seriously appeal to me. I mean who wouldn’t jump at the chance to put on a pair of pants and magically drop 10 pounds? Not that I believe all of the hype, but it’s one of those “suspension of disbelief” kinds of deals. I prefer to hold onto the fantasy of melting off my cellulite with little to no effort.

Back on this side of reality, the sensible me understands that weight loss doesn’t happen overnight. It might just be that a pair of magic pants might help accelerate the process, but the bulk of the work is going to involve watching every bite that goes into my craw, as well as amping up the exercise considerably. I keep telling myself every day that “tomorrow is going to be the day I start.” Every day I fail, some days worse than others. Last night I went out for drinks and ended up eating about a pound of loaded french fries with cheddar, bacon and ranch dressing. Today I had nachos for dinner.

So here I am, setting it in stone:

Tomorrow – Friday, August 10th, 2012 – will be the day I stop dicking around and start working off this 20 lbs. No more late night eats. No more junk food. No more processed snacky shit. No more sodas. No more wasting money on emotionally gratifying lard concoctions.

The rules are:

1) Work out every day in some way – yoga, running, crunches, weights, or just basic stretching. Yoga should happen at least five times a week, and running should happen at least three. Stretching should happen every day, to ensure hip flexibility and little/no back pain.

2) Eat a vegetarian diet, sticking between 1200 and 1500 calories a day, as suggested on LoseIt.com. If I’m feeling at all weak or otherwise unfulfilled, up the calorie count with unprocessed organic whole foods.

3) Take vitamins daily! My chiropractor suggested a liquid Vitamin D and a probiotic to go along with my daily multivitamin. I definitely want to add in a super green supplement in my mornings, too.

4) Get at least 7 hours of sleep per night. I’d like to aim for 8, but this would have me in bed at 9:30pm, which is just not feasible on my schedule.

5) Set goals. Map out goal achievement (or not) in a highly visible manner – on this blog, at work, and maybe through FB. Tell everyone everything I’m eating and everything I’m doing to work it off. Take photos and videos. Post photos and videos even if I’m ashamed at what I see – especially if I’m ashamed, in fact.

6) Create a rewards system – a dress or pair of shoes for every three pounds lost and kept off for a week, for example.

7) Get up to speed on “extras” that could help me out, like a pair of Zaggora pants for lounging at home, or maybe a body wrap system that works really well.

Tomorrow I’ll weigh in first thing before drinking water or heading off to yoga. I’ll also measure my thighs, arms, stomach, hips, etc. and post photos of my “starting” body, which will have to wait until later in the day, since there’s no way I’m getting The Man up at 5am to take snapshots of my jiggly bits (as Bridget Jones calls them). The moment of truth is upon us (eek!)