Half Full

The glass is always half full. Even when it’s empty, it will still be half full. If I can stay on my feet, all alone, for 26.2 miles, through nearly blinding, completely self-induced pain, there’s not much else that should keep me down in day-to-day living, right? That’s what I tell myself. I know that the Universe is not out to hurt me; I am only being taught the lessons I came here for in the first place.

So why is it that things are going pear-shaped lately? What can I do? I thought I was being as positive as possible, but I see that it’s not working out, no matter how much I try. It’s because I’m going against my nature now, and nature will not be contained. The heart is the heart, and the head has no right of way when the route has been chosen.

I’m just digging in right now and hoping for the best. Maybe it’s wrong to stand against the tide. I don’t know. I have a feeling that when the dam breaks, my life will change in a lot of ways, all at once. I’m suffering now, shrinking away into myself more every day. When my soul stops letting my rationale be in charge, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to handle the losses.

I’m too old for this bullshit.

Leave a comment

I’m Nova

I have no “personal brand.” I’m not a girl boss, I’m not an influencer, and I don’t aspire to be powerful, inspiring, or rich. I probably can’t teach you anything, and there’s a good chance that there’s nothing at all of interest or use to you here. This is just where I come to talk about the random bits and pieces that make up my quiet life as a sober woman in her 40s. I’m engaged to the love of my life, have six (yes, SIX) indoor pets, and spend a lot of time gardening and hunting for thrift treasures. I also study classical voice (I’m a lyric coloratura soprano) and am deeply interested in all things spiritual and paranormal. Right now I’m trying to recover from career burnout and even out my personal energy, but my eventual goal is to become a medium and shamanic healer, using music to remind humans of the things that actually matter: connection, community, and loving all living things as though they were our own children. I may or may not talk about all of these things here (and sometimes all at once). Welcome!