Starting to See Results

Today’s Weight: 158.0 lbs.

Food: I screwed the pooch on this one, folks, sorry. For breakfast I had cajun salmon dip on tortilla chips, and for lunch I ate a pistachio muffin. I promise I’ll eat something healthy for dinner to even out my insane day.

Energy: Surprisingly high. By 10pm last night I was so physically worn out that I was having trouble keeping my eyes open, and had a hard time just shuffling from the couch to the bed. I slept almost 9 hours, and woke up bouncing all over the place, which is definitely not my M.O. I figure maybe all this exercise is getting my body back into some kind of rhythm, who knows? I’m getting some new vitamins in the mail on Friday, ones that are supposed to not make you puke, so maybe that’ll help add zest, as well.

So far today I did 45 minutes of Zumba, no run yet. My hips and lower back are aching today, so I might take the day off from running and start back tomorrow with a little less pain. We’ll see how I feel tonight when it’s time to hit the road. I didn’t stretch last night as well as I should have, and am thinking it’s probably time to go get a deep tissue massage to work on my trouble spots again, too. Maybe paycheck after next…

Even though I’m heavier than yesterday, I’m trying to stay positive about it and attribute it to muscle. What’s interesting is that today in the shower I was actually able to tell the difference in the way my thighs feel. My thighs have always touched, even in high school at my very skinniest and most physically active (I ran track, never ate, and was in pretty much every club/activity they’d let me in, so I burned a lot of calories just being a kid). However, there’s a difference between your thighs being muscular and touching and being fatty and touching. For the past year or so, I’ve sadly been on the fatty side, and you could see ripples where my thighs met. It’s a gross thing to realize about yourself.

One of the things I do from time to time (no idea how I started doing it) is put my legs together and try to pull the fat on the back of my thighs back just to visualize what my legs would look like if they were toned. Yes, it’s weird, and one of those things that you do in front of the mirror when no one’s watching. I do it with my arms, too, to see what they would look like if I took the extra fat off and just had a shapely, toned biceps area. Anyway, so I was checking out my legs today, and when I went to stretch the fat back, I realized there was less to grab hold of, and that the backs of my thighs were actually feeling firm and strong, instead of soft and cushy. I’m getting my muscles back!

Another thing I’ve been thinking about today is swimming. I’m still taking swim lessons, and am still not able to breathe and swim at the same time, but I’m getting there. I’ve been thinking more and more about keeping the lessons up, and maybe finding a swim class to hone my skill and become a swimmer, rather than just someone who can swim if needs be. I really like being in the water, and I think that after I can swim, if I can conquer my fear of deep water and then work on learning to dive (or at least jump) into water where I can’t touch the bottom, I’ll be such a stronger person. It would be neat to keep that up, and get better at all of the skills it takes to be a swimmer. Sure, I might not be able to be a competitive swimmer, but it would be great to be able to jump off the side of a sailboat in (shark-free) deep water, and not think too hard about it, and know that I’m capable and strong.

Wow, this has been a long, rambling post. Time to get back to writing some copy!

Update: I kept true to my promise to make it a better afternoon, food-wise. I had an apple & peanut butter for a snack, then for dinner I had organic butternut squash soup and a scrambled egg with salsa, beans & a little bit of cheese. In all I hit 1,378 calories for the day, and though I went over in fat and under in protein according to SparkPeople, I feel pretty good overall.

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