Not sure of today’s weight – I didn’t check. Today’s mood was great, if a little tired. It was a long week, and today I ran a couple of miles, then came home and did an hour of Zumba. On top of the physically tiring activity, my mind is racing. I got news yesterday that I’m approved for a very low interest loan, and the loan is enough to pay off all of my very high-interest debts. At first I was skeptical of using the money, but after carefully going over my budget with my financially savvy boyfriend, we realized it would be a good call to pay off my CC debts now, as it would save me a great deal of money in the end and also give me a way to start saving money right now so I can have some set aside in case of emergency.

It’s fabulous news for me – I never realized before yesterday just how much stress my debt has had on me. All the nights I’ve gone to sleep wondering how I was going to afford to put gas in the car to drive to band practice, pay for my monthly prescription medicine, pay the rent without bouncing a check, ever get out of debt, be able to afford to do anything fun at all without feeling guilty the entire time…all of a sudden I can see a little spot of blue in the sky.

This is going to give me a chance to afford to change careers when it’s time, and more relevant to this blog, it’s going to give me the ability to buy some new clothes for the first time in a VERY long time. Before, whenever I was thinking about the pretty clothes I’d like to wear if I were a bit more trim, in the back of my mind I knew that I’d never actually be able to afford new things, even if I was successful in losing weight. Now I will be able to buy a pair of new jeans, or splurge on a cute dress every once in awhile. Now I can set a weight goal and reward myself with a new outfit once I’ve reached that point. I got so excited when I realized that this morning, and as a result, my energy level when working out was so much higher.

This is definitely one of those times when I’m reminded of why I believe in being as positive as possible, even when it’s hard dredging up goodwill. Just keep aiming at where you want to be, and you WILL be helped. It might take six years, but eventually things will line up. Tonight I’m celebrating the sheer effort of plugging along. Maybe by next month I’ll be celebrating some new color (and sizes) in my wardrobe!