The Soft Opening Of My New Life

It’s called a lifestyle, not a diet. It’s a change that I need to make for myself forever – not just for as long as I can play along. It’s actually very easy to believe that a permanent change could be possible. I’ve already lost 5 lbs since Monday, eating more than I ever did before, and exercising not as much as I should. Maybe I’ve got a shot this time.

It’s early, but I’m feeling positive about this, for the most part.

I’m working with a personal training studio called Hitch Fit, out of Kansas City, and have been told that it’s very possible for me to lose 13% of my body fat and as much as 30 lbs in the next three months if I just do what they say. It might sound odd, since in many ways I’ve prided myself for being a free spirit, but there are some aspects of my life I’ve acknowledged I just don’t have much control over. Diet and exercise are two of those aspects, so it fills me with a deep sense of relief and peace to just hand that portion of my life over to someone else, and do nothing more than just follow directions. The Before & After pictures are startling, motivating, insanely awesome. If I can achieve half of the success of some of their testimonials, I will be in the best shape this body has seen since high school.

And it’s not hard. Not at all.

I have to eat five meals a day, with a certain mix of carbs, protein and fat. It ends up being around 1300 calories, with LOTS of veggies and as much tea as I can drink. There’s no meat involved, no crazy supplements (other than the vegan, non-soy protein shake I was already drinking daily, and a green superfood powder with wheat grass and spirulina, which everyone should be taking, really), no diet pills or starving required – just eating at regular intervals, weight training three times a week, and doing cardio 5 or 6 days a week.

The nutrition plan reached my email inbox on Friday, and I was told to take a week to just read through everything, get familiar with the diet & exercises required, and think of any questions I’d like to ask before starting. So on Sunday I went grocery shopping and started loosely following the diet, figuring out how hard it would be to prepare my meals in advance (very little effort, as it turns out), and what it was going to be like to follow the plan. I figured it would be a little like the soft opening of a restaurant, just getting the lay of the land, figuring out what works and what doesn’t, making a few adjustments before the real work starts. Since then, every day I’ve worked a little harder to do exactly what I’m supposed to – 1 tbsp of peanut butter and not a bit more, adding the right amount of protein powder to my oatmeal, that kind of thing.

As of today, I’m down from 160 to 155.6 lbs., just following the meal plan and going to a couple of yoga classes. My dumbbell set came in yesterday, and I’ll start REALLY training on Monday, after a weekend of yoga. I’m excited. Scared of how hard it’s going to be to weight train and still find the willpower to do more cardio and go to yoga on a daily basis, but overall, feeling pretty awesome about this whole thing. It’s going to work, and I’m going to be in the physical shape I’ve always wanted. There have been, and will be, sacrifices made to this cause – most of the foods that I love, as well as alcohol (for the most part), and definitely lots of time – but I’ll figure out how to fit in the things that I need and say adios to the things that have just been weighing me down all of these years.

Wish me luck, folks. By March I’ll be ready to show off my bikini body 🙂

Something’s Got to Change

I’m so unhappy with myself right now. Yes, I know, that sounds really bratty considering where I’m at compared to a few months ago. My life has improved so very much since May! But still, there’s something not quite right with my life. I want, need, and deserve more.

Any critic (including my own mind, and The Man) would be right in telling me that if I want change, I’ve got to make it happen, and I think I’ve done an OK job so far. Just not good enough. Part of that is because I have a hard time separating out all of the things that I like and don’t like about my life. That makes it really tough to pick a goal and go for it. So I’m going to try to do that here.

Things I Want For Myself

  1. To be able to run a decent half marathon without injury/chronic pain in under 2hrs and 45 minutes
  2. To go to Bikram yoga at least once a day (but hopefully more)
  3. To eventually become a Bikram yoga instructor
  4. To have defined abs and sculpted arms/thighs
  5. To have nice posture, and stop stooping over
  6. To have the physical poise and bearing of a model
  7. To have the emotional poise and bearing of Hillary Clinton
  8. To streamline and organize my life in a way that saves me time and energy
  9. To make at least $4k a month as a freelancer
  10. To pay off my credit cards
  11. To finish learning to swim
  12. To become a proficient dancer, and go out dancing twice a month
  13. To become a proficient horsewoman
  14. To become a photographer, join the NO Photo Alliance, and show my work at galleries
  15. To write books
  16. To put together a comprehensive plan and write a blog with my friend
  17. To stop eating meat forever
  18. To start eating mostly vegan meals, and more raw meals
  19. To never look at a photo of myself and wince at my thighs again
  20. To wear makeup to work every day, and to wear it with skill and artistry
  21. To dress stylishly, and stop looking like such a mess all the time
  22. To read a book a week
  23. To get more freelance business
  24. To figure out a business name and create a decent website
  25. To wake up early in the mornings
  26. To be adored by, and to adore, my significant other
  27. To not feel like life is just passing me by
  28. To move to a house that’s bigger than a shoebox
  29. To get a few more fish
  30. To grow my own food
  31. To get my scorpion tattoo for my birthday
  32. To create a calendar of when I’ll call which friend/family member, so that I can somehow squeeze all the calls in
  33. To talk to my grandmother again
  34. To call Sonicare and get my toothbrush replaced
  35. To call Sallie Mae and get my loan payments reduced

Oh gee. I’m exhausted just seeing this list written out. I wanted to think on this a bit more, but it’s 1am and I desperately need to wake up for yoga at 7:15 tomorrow morning. I’ll attack this after my day of waxing and hair cutting. I’m going to the salon to become a new shell of a girl. After that we’ll see about filling me up with something useful…