Day #40: Getting There

I weighed in at 154.6 lbs today! It’s taking awhile, but slowly but surely, I’m heading in the right direction. Today is Day 18 of the 30 Day Bikram Challenge, and I’m a resounding FIVE classes behind (argh). Today is a double down day, another attempt to close the gap a little. I went to class at 6am, and I’ll go again at 6pm. I’m really starting to like doubles, even though that’s so weird of me, I know. I sweat out so much in the first class that by the second class, even if I’m rehydrated, it’s so much easier to see muscle definition. Since I’m not a muscular girl, and never have been, it’s so effing cool to look at myself and see the beginning of a four pack, or notice real muscles building up in my arms. It’s crazy cool.

Aside from trying to catch up in yoga, I’m not thinking about that much else this morning. Just scrubbed down my yoga mat, since it was getting really stinky. I used dish soap, Borax, and vinegar and a lot of hot water. I’ve never scrubbed a mat with soap and water before – typically I use an antibacterial spray, but that just wasn’t cutting it today. I’ll let you know how it works out.

Oh, and talking about working out, I’m still wearing the Zaggora hot pants every day. I’ve been wearing them anywhere between four and eight hours a day, just to lounge around the house and sleep in. Last night I wore them while finishing up some last minute work at home, and talking on the phone, then went to bed in them, but I woke up an hour later feeling so constricted by the fabric. It’s tough for me to get used to wearing something that tight and non-breathable for great lengths of time. However, it’s my choice, and I’m not going to wear them to work out in until I feel really comfy in them. My thighs are looking a little smoother, but I don’t think they’re any smaller in circumference or anything yet.

I’m going to take a fifteen minute nap before getting ready for work – suddenly got really sleepy. Catch you all later.

Day #37: The Hot Room Double Down

Whew! I finally went back to the studio yesterday, and class wasn’t too bad for having been away for a five day stretch. It was supposed to be a double day (to make up for all the classes I missed over the last week) but I didn’t make it to morning class, only afternoon. No worries, though – I’m doing a double today and tomorrow to start the process of catching up. To make it “official,” I even put together a Google calendar of all the doubles I’ll have to do to end the 30 Day Challenge on a high note.

Talking about high notes, wanna know something weird? Before class today, I weighed in at 159.2 lbs, which makes sense given that I’ve been almost a week without exercise. However, after class I weighed in just out of curiosity since I’d sweated what seemed to be an abnormal amount for me, and I was 155.4 lbs – almost 4 lbs lighter! It’s crazy to think that I sweated out 4 lbs of water in my morning Bikram class. Even crazier, I wonder if I’ll even be able to sweat anything out in the afternoon class. I ate a pretty good lunch of steamed veggies w/ cheese sauce, and a Plant Fusion chocolate shake (made with a banana and almond milk to give me extra strength in class), so hoping I’ve got enough electrolytes in my system to survive the second class without getting sick afterwards.

Tonight I’m going to meet The Man’s 1-year-old niece for the first time. She and her parents live in Florida, and I haven’t seen them in over two years now. It’ll be nice to get together again, but I’m a bit apprehensive. The Man’s parents, brother, sister-in-law, a baby, The Man AND me in our teensy tiny apartment is going to be nerve-wracking, to say the least. Plus, the house isn’t baby-proofed, it hasn’t been cleaned since last week, and where on earth are the cats going to hide from the baby? Miss Isabel will NOT be happy. But then honestly, neither will her mother. I’m just not as psyched about being an aunt as I seem to be expected to be, and I’m pretty sad that there’s so much pressure to be in love with this baby that’s not even related to me. It just seems so fake, but of course I seem like a heartless monster if I do anything but act delighted to be hostess. Argh. Wish I had another yoga class to go to so I could just escape the whole evening…

Day #34: Fitness, or Lack of

Ack! I haven’t worked out since Saturday, and it’s driving me crazy. Unfortunately, I have an afternoon meeting today, so I’m not going to be able to go to yoga again until tomorrow. My 30 Day Challenge is really screwed right now. I’m going to need to do five (5?!?!?) doubles to make up for my misses so far. Oy vey. I can do it, though. I’m going to get 30 classes in, one way or the other.

I’ve also been thinking a lot about how I’m conducting myself, and just trying to come to terms with the fact that though calorie counting is helpful, it’s not helpful enough. I’m not going to lose any more weight just counting calories and worrying about going to yoga every day. I have to be much more active, and that means making a solid fitness goal with measurable steps. I don’t mean my weight loss, though that’s obviously still something I’m very much looking out for. Instead, it needs to be something like working my way up to running a 1/2 marathon, learning to do a particular dance, going dancing at least once a week, perfecting my Triangle pose, training to hike the Santiago de Compostela, finish learning how to swim properly – those kinds of things. It just hit me the other night while watching Expendables 2 that those guys are all so incredibly fit, and so very capable as a result. Most of them are at least 25 years older than me (others 30+ years older) and they’re still so strong and vibrant. Where will I be then if I don’t start working towards strength and flexibility now, while I’m young and it’s relatively easy?

I should be getting my iPhone this weekend, finally, and when I do I’m signing up for Gym Pact to make myself a bet I can’t refuse. I need to be working SO much harder at this.

Also, last night I was thinking about all of the other tasks I’ve got on my plate that I just never get around to, like advancing spiritually, working on writing a book, sewing a baby quilt for a friend’s child, setting up my Etsy account again. I’m letting life just slip by me for no reason other than a hectic work schedule and a big dose of laziness. I think it might be time to set monthly life goals again. We’ll think about that over the next few days…

Wrapping Up Early

It’s 10pm, but it feels more like 2am. I am straight up exhausted. It was a long, hard week, and the weekend promises more of the same. I don’t mind, though.

I made it to yoga this afternoon, and it was an amazing class! I didn’t skip anything except for the sit ups, but I always skip them because of my bad back. I’m still so happy that I did all four reps of Triangle…it’s one of those things that makes you feel like such a badass.

My calorie intake was good today, though I didn’t eat well. Hopefully going grocery shopping tomorrow afternoon, and I want to stock up on enough fruits and veggies to not eat any meat in the coming weeks. It just makes me feel like crap, inside and out, when I eat meat, so really not sure why I’m still compelled to do it. For me it feels very similar to what it feels like to be an emotional eater. I don’t want to eat it, and I typically don’t have to, but something primal says that I must. I want to break that chain.

Going to bed super early tonight, since tomorrow I need to do two Bikram classes to make up for one of the two that I missed (with the other class just being my daily requirement). I’m going to start the day off with a yummy protein shake, go to yoga, do a little copywriting, then put together a grocery list and go stock my pantry. Gonna be a great day!

Day #29: Feeling Like a Failure

I’m not in a good headspace right now. I missed yoga on Wednesday, and straight up skipped class yesterday, then didn’t wake up in time for class this morning. I cannot miss this afternoon’s class for anything! And now I’m going to have to do two classes a day on Saturday AND Sunday to make up for my laziness and get back in line with where I should be on the 30 Day Challenge. To top it off, on Wednesday I ate far over my calorie limit, then topped that off with a bunch of beer. Yesterday, I was too scared to weigh myself, then I got taken out to lunch by my coworkers, and met up with girlfriends for a pre-planned burrito dinner, again blowing my calories out of the water. I’m going to do my best not to screw up today, but The Man woke me up this morning to tell me he was bringing home a pizza so we could hang out together and watch movies tonight. I know that things like this shouldn’t freak me out, but I’m already pissed at myself for eating a piece of pizza at 8:30pm tonight.

My only option is to take it easy on lunch, go to yoga this evening, only eat one piece of pizza, then go to yoga twice tomorrow and be really good to my body all weekend. It’s not hard, exactly. It’s just annoying to have to spend so much of my energy thinking about what I’m going to eat in the future, and being sad that I won’t like any of it because it’s not ice cream, pizza or fried chicken. Argh. I’ve got to get ready for work.

Again, I didn’t weigh myself this morning. I’m feeling bloated and horrible, so I’m sure I’m probably back around 162, and I just can’t look at the scale to see that this morning. I also ate a really shitty breakfast of eggs, toast and cheese. I think I’m going to stick to carrots and a granola bar for lunch. Meh. This post sucks. Sorry.

Day #25: Bikram & Numb3rs

Happy Labor Day! Hope you all spent the day grilling out, chilling in the pool, or sale shopping and getting tons of great deals. I did none of these things. After another mostly restless night, I finally fell asleep for real once The Man left for work at 6am, then slept through to about 11am. I then proceeded to be really boring all day long 🙂 I recently started watching old episodes of the TV show “Numb3rs,” and after today I’m about half way through the second season. I generally dig crime dramas and mystery shows, and this one is no different. I’m not as into it as I am shows like “The Closer” and “Bones,” but it’s an OK way to while away an afternoon.

Today was the third day of my studio’s 30 Day Bikram Challenge, and it was a much better class than the last two I have under my belt. I only sat out one round of Triangle pose, and one of Camel, but in general I was much stronger than even yesterday. I even extended my leg during standing head to knee, which pretty much never happens. Typically I have a lot of trouble keeping my knee locked and my weight distributed evenly, but today was good. I feel great – can’t wait to go back to class tomorrow.

As far as food goes, I was OK today. Not great, but not a complete disaster. Granola bar and green tea for breakfast, steamed veggies and fake chicken tenders for lunch, egg salad sandwich for dinner, and a (too big) snack of Cheez-its. I was about 400 calories over where I wanted to be, but I’m OK with that.


Day #?: Bikram 30 Day Challenge, Isaac, Etc…

Not sure what day of my weight loss journey this is, and disinclined to take the time to look over my old posts for a clue. I’ll figure it out tomorrow.

I slept over at my in-laws’ last night, and it was marvelous. The Man stayed behind in New Orleans to protect against looters, since our power was still out and people do asshole-ish stuff like loot around these parts. I showed up at his parents’ house with dirty laundry and a garbage bag full of perishables, and they treated me like royalty. The Man, Sr. kept my wine glass full and plugged in a couple of great chick flick DVDs, and The Man’s Mom whipped up a great dinner and made sure that I knew where her stash of super girly bath supplies were, so I could take a really relaxing dip and feel more human. It was a great night, and I even slept in late this morning. My hips and lower back didn’t hurt as much as normal when I woke up, making me think that on top of the twisted hip problem, maybe my bed at home could be a bit of a culprit.

In the early afternoon, I drove home in high spirits with clean laundry and really great smelling hair. The Man’s Mom had let me use her Wen Cleansing Conditioner, and I really liked it, though I used A LOT less than the instructions call for. It comes in this squirt bottle, and is a combination shampoo/conditioner that you’re supposed to use like 14 squirts of. I used 7 and it was perfect. My hair came out feeling so soft, and although I’ve got pretty great natural highlights, the color of my hair even looked richer when it was dry. I’d like to try it a couple more times to see if it’s really as great as it seemed on the first try. Have you tried it? Any thoughts to share?

Today was the first day of my Bikram studio’s 30 Day Challenge, so even though I didn’t really feel up to going to class, I made myself get up and get out. Class was BRUTAL. It must have been a combination of factors, from not practicing in four days to not being hydrated enough, as well as being so tense and stressed out, but I was having a lot of trouble breathing and keeping my heart rate down. As a result, I was dizzy and nauseous for much of the class, and ended up just sitting a few of the poses out completely. I gave it my all, but my all was considerably less impressive than usual. After class, I drug myself back to the locker room and commiserated with the other ladies. Several of them had had a really tough time, too, and we all agreed it must be the stress of the hurricane situation just lingering. With stuff like that, you’ve just got to forge ahead and keep breathing, keep opening up your chest with good backbends to let all of that hurt out and all of the fresh experiences in. Sorry, I’m going all hippy dippy on you, but it’s been true in the past for me, and it will be true tomorrow when I go back to class and work on my Camel some more.

After class, I came back home, where I found out that The Man (who works for a government agency) was called away to work in Baton Rouge for an undisclosed amount of time in response to the massive flooding that’s going on in other parishes. I won’t comment on his frustration with the delayed response time or the inadequate response levels he’s seeing at his agency, but I’ll say that I feel very bad for his situation for however long they keep him. It seems to be a clusterfuck, and as an extremely logical, helpful and orderly person with a real call to help those in need, he’s not in the best spot right now. From an insider’s position, it’s absolutely terrifying to think what’s going to happen if we get another storm anytime soon. Our state is not equipped to deal with anything else this season.

From a very selfish spot, I’m both excited to get some down time to live alone again, as well as disappointed that this all had to happen now. Tuesday is our six-year anniversary as a couple, and because of his job and our living situation over the past few years, it’s a date we typically don’t end up spending together. Not to mention that the last time he was deployed for a natural disaster, he was sent to another state over Halloween AND my birthday. It would just be nice to get to spend some important dates together. But I won’t be lame about it – we did just get to spend a pretty nice couple of days at home, by candle light.

OK, I’m done talking your ear off. Just waiting on a load of laundry to finish up washing, then I’m going to hit the hay. Maybe I’ll do a little more reading, too. So far since Tuesday, I’ve read “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” for the umpteenth time, as well as “Dead Until Dark” for maybe the second or third time, and now I’m reading “Living Dead in Dallas” again, too. Maybe while The Man’s gone, I’ll actually read something new, like the Game of Thrones series…

Oh, I forgot. I weighed in today at 156.6 lbs (can you believe that, after all the crap I ate?) and here’s my day’s diet. Pretty unhealthy, but I had to grab what I could at WalMart, and they were in a sad state.